Have your attention now?
It’s been a hot minute since the initial blog entry, cause life happens…and so do kids, wedding season, time off, brides and having to just completely turn off and enjoy the life you’ve created.
To write, sometimes you need to be ‘inspired’ by something. This morning this ‘something‘ was a variation of something I keep seeing on the Instagram, Facebook memes, and variations of it keep being reposted and hash tagged #fuckyes #stylistsupportingstylist #preach #thisiseverything #killingit #micdrop
What is it?
“Fake it till you make it only works in bed”
No. This is not everything. Let us not preach. Let us break it down.
One. We do not arrive in this world ready to go balls to the wall. We don’t know our life mission in the womb, decide what type of person we’re going to be, nor what career path were going to walk down. We don’t know what our strengths or weakness will be, what will make us anxious and cower, or what will motivate us and push us forward in times of darkness. Following? Good.
Two. When we complete our post secondary education, be it university or a trade, you leave with some or minimal on the job experience compared to what you WILL have in comparison to the END of your career. Some career paths offer placements, years and years of supplemental hours in order to receive your degree or reach the highest accolade in your field. However, what all paths have in common is this:
faking it + realizing you need to educate yourself = making it.
You will have to fake that confidence to score that account. You will have to fake knowing how to work a room and schmooze, because you haven't done it enough to feel confident. You will have to fake that smile for that new client who chose you for their 8hr correction, because there are so many different ways to approach it. Don’t let them see your fear or uncertainty. And hot damn, don’t go looking for the answer to life on Instagram cause you’ll probably need a detox tea, a skinny wrap and 10 years to take notes from self proclaimed self help gurus who buy their fake money stacks on Amazon. You want that client to be exploding with hair happiness when they leave! Stylists are posting left and right on their Insta accounts about ‘praying to the hair gods!’ during the process, hashtag nailedit…well hold up. Is this not the same? Just a different way to express the same thing? What you’re not seeing is them playing Jekyl & Hyde - freaking out in the back room and immediately turning that frown upside down when they go check how hopefully not green their clients hair is…
Fake it till you make it.
But what happens if you fuck up? That ash toner didn't work. You lost that account cause you didn't say the right things. You had verbal diarrhea when you were schmoozing cause you were so nervous and were so socially awkward and had so much to say but were so nervous you said nothing and were basically mute?(True story. I used to stutter so bad and was incredibly self conscious about it I refused to talk) Or, you did the complete opposite and said really inappropriate things you wish you could take back but can’t…
What do you do? OWN IT. LEARN FROM IT. As I tell my son ‘use your noodle’ and seek the help and/or education you need to better yourself. Invest in yourself and make the necessary choices to help yourself ‘make it’ to the next level.
Did I know how to be self employed when I took that leap? Fuck no. Taxes? Nope. How to pay myself? Nope. How much color to order or retail to order? Not at all, which is how I wasted 12g’s. BUT I pretended I did to get me through that time of ‘not knowing’ till I could seek out help.
Be humble enough to know when you need help and fearless enough to ask for it.
When you’re unsure of how to do something, search out those skilled individuals in that area to help you ‘make it’. The reality is however, no one will hand you the confidence, take away your anxiety nor coddle you with a heart felt pat on the back when you shut down and can’t work through it. You must do that for yourself. The world doesn’t owe you anything. No one owes you anything. The faster you stand up and fake it till you make it to the next level, you’ll come to realize on your own what you need to move up and on, gain that confidence , and put one foot in front of the other. You need to do that for yourself.
Listen guys. We fake it every day.
Fake nice. Fake smile. Fake happy. Fake Instagram, its our highlight reel, lets get real. Fake hair. Fake lashes. Fake friendships. Fake confidence. You reserve your truth for those that wont judge you and those you trust to help you make those difficult decisions to better yourself. Those who will encourage you take those hard necessary steps. We figure it out as we go along. Our reality is, is that everyday is fake. Life doesn’t come with a manual, neither do our jobs. Could you imagine telling that random stranger at Starbucks asking you “How’s your day going?” what is really going on in your life? L O frickin’ L People would give you bug eyes and run away like Hussein Bolt! Trying not rant here guys, hopefully you’re getting the gist of it….
I didn't know how to be a mum till I had my kids. I’d never actually held a baby till they placed my son in my arms cause I was paranoid about dropping other people’s babies. True story.
Didn’t know the first thing about buying a house. Or selling a house. Faked some happiness and hid the nervousness and found a rockstar agent…after we went through 5 shitty ones.
Or buying my first car. Luc was in Regina wrapping up 6 months of hellish training and the mega douche from Hyundai printed me out a spec sheet and told me ‘to send it to my husband and come back when I was ready’. I left in tears, went home and researched what I wanted, went back and pretended I knew what the fuck I was talking about.
How did my makeup bestie and I get so ‘lucky’ with our opportunities? Build our portfolio? We had to pretend we lived in Toronto and take the overnight Greyhound so photographers would work with us. We faked it HARD.
I did not know a damn thing about being self employed. Screwed up along the way, owned it, and found ‘my people’ because I couldn't do it alone. Faked that with an epic fucking smile, figured it out and am STILL working on it.
Take a step back and assess what steps you need to put in between ‘FAKE’ and ‘MAKE’ to get you to where you wanna be. Faking it till you make it means visualizing the job you want, the house you want, the trip, the life, your path , the change you need…whatever you want or need to live your best and fullest life on your terms and fucking do it. You have choices everyday. To help yourself or stay stagnant. Choose to help yourself. Choose to surround yourself with people who help you, rather than hold you back. Make the hard choices. Make the scary decisions. Make the change. Make it.
This post will probably irritate some people, and that's ok. ‘Cause guess what? I’m not chocolate and I can’t make everyone happy. Just as someone's irritating meme inspired me, this may inspire some self inflicted hate mail, and I’m ok with that.
And ps…if you need to fake it till you make it in bed…practice practice practice #preach